To Mend and Defend


By Chris Hyduk

First Aired: August 16th, 1997

Game: Malicious Corpses

Click here to hear this episodes intro!

Memorable Quote: "Groovy!" (As said by the User!)

The Episode opens right where "Web World Wars" left off, with Megabyte and Hexadecimal about to fire the energy weapon at the Principle office. They hit and the shields are weakened! At that moment, inside the principle office, Dot is told by a nerdy looking binome with tape on his glasses that there are only nine of their fleet out there, Dot tells them to approach single file, and against the better judgement of the nerd binome, phong agrees. The cars make it safely into the hanger, under cover fire from the big guns mounted on the sides of the office. Unfortunately, the debris smahes into the side of the dome, and the shields are no longer operable! Outside, Hexadecimal is pleased, and begins powering up the weapon to take another shot! Megabyte doesn't want this however, and reminds Hex that destroying the core would also destroy them, along with the entire city. Hex insists that the office is "Screaming out to be destroyed!" and that it will be "Glorious". She powers up, and fires! The beam is on target, but is blocked by a small shield in front of the beam!

Inside, Enzo is surprised that they weren't deleted, and Mouse reveals that she hacked into the core, and used some of it's energy to create a temporary shield. Mouse says that the shield won't last long, and that they should take the battle to magabyte..."Now!" she says, as she taps her icon, and tranforms into gold battle armour, Dot follows, by changing into a black, navy seal-type outfit. Mouse leaves out nerdy friend in charge of the temporary wall, and Enzo, left behind, is depressed that he is not being taken seriously in his newly aquired guardian protocol, saying that they are right, and that he will never be like Bob. Phong reassures him, telling him that his time will come. The nerdy binome alerts everyone that Hex is going to fire again, and he is not sure how the energy field works, and Phong takes over, madly typing into the computer.

Hex says it's time for Mainframe's final curtain call, but Megabyte has other ideas, he jumps at Hex, who turns and blasts him off of the platform, only to be rescued by Hack and Slash. At that moment, a game cube begins to drop, and megabyte can see that it is going to drop on the weapon. He says, "Have it your way.", and Hack, Slash, and himself fly to safety.
Hex gets Toasted!! Hex prepares to fire, "Say hello to my Leetle friend!" she screams, just before the game cube drop on half of the weapon, and commences to fry her, in an extremely graphic and violent, albeit cool, explosion, that consists of an effect in which Hex's mask cracks, before the energy inside blasts out of her face!

Dot and Mouse see the cube as well, and head towards it. Suddenly, Enzo and Andraia whiz by them, Dot says that Enzo can't help himself, that it's the guardian protocol, but Mouse realizes that if Andraia enters the game, she will leave with it! Frisket also sees the game, while "playing" with one of the ABC's, and he heads towards it as well. Mouse grabs Andraia right before she can enter the game, and Dot just barely makes it in!

The Game setting is a graveyard, and Enzo, using glitch, gets game stats, and they find out that the user is one level below them, and they must find all the pages of "The Manual of Mortality" (Necronomicon Ex Mortis, the book of the dead, from Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" films!) before the user does, they are interupted by a sound! Crispy Fried Hexadecimal! Outside, The mangled remnants of Hexadecimal's broken shell are recovered by the Mad Doctor Binome (as seen in "Bad Bob" where his poor digits were injured), with the aid of the Igor binome, who is wearing a bunny slipper, and whose other foot is a brick! (don't ask me!). The doctor tells the other binomes to throw her into the back of the van. Mouse and Andraia wait by the rubble of Dot's Diner, and they are about to leave, when something behind them knowcks over the big "D". (NOTE: Check out the poster behind them, Calvin Spline!)

Back in the game, we see from the view of the user (a first!), we see him pick up some ammo, and some health, then he examines his arms, one is a chainsaw, the other, a shotgun! He continues over a small bridge...While Enzo, and the others try to figure out what the sound was, the ground under them begins to shake, and up from the ground, out of a tombstone marked "Here lies the Mainframe Joint Venture An Unholy Alliance" The ground bursts open, and frisket jumps out, who is happily greeted by Enzo. Just then, The user arrives.

The user, a tall guy, with a jutting chin, fires his shotgun into the air, revs up his chainsaw, and spurts out what really defines his character, "Groovy!". (This character is an EXACT representation of Ash, Bruce Campbell's character in The Evil Dead films, and his catch phrase, "Groovy", is one of the more famous quotes from those same films!)

The Sprites decide it's time to reboot, and in a nifty new effect, Frisket changes into some kind of devildog, with glowing red eyes, Enzo changes into a zombie, (wearing the same outfit Micheal Jackson wore in "Thriller") and Dot is put into an Elvira type dress, beehive and all. Unexpectedly, Enzo's eye pops cleanly out of it's socket, and bobs around on the end of an optic nerve. Enzo tells the binomes to hide the user's ammo, but they refuse to listen to him because he isn't Bob, he isn't even blue! :)
They eventually get talked into it by Dot, and they try to get to the cabin, where the book itself is!

He's not even blue, Don'tcha Know! Outside the game, Megabyte watches a television interview, a female binome dressed in a parka and deer stalker (from Fargo, she's even holding an award statue!) is talking about how Enzo is "Not really a guardian, dontcha know, I mean, he's not even blue...". This gives Megabyte an idea, he makes a remark about propaganda being a greater weapon that anything in his arenal, and he turns to Sirus, (The backstabber from "Identity Crisis") who is polishing Megabytes detached legs, Megabyte tells him that he has a job for him.

Back in the game, the user is just standing there shooting at things, and Dot asks what kind of sick creature gets enjoyment out of playing that sort of game. The binomes are gathering ammo, and they are chased away by some game sprites and the user. Outside, Megabyte visits Hex, who is attached to a machine, and has been fitted with inhibitors, and is being dunked into some kind of goo.

The user retrieves the last page from an evil tree, and the sprites head for the cabin to get the book! Frisket takes a shotgun blast at point blank range, while Enzo and Dot escape to the cabin. They hide the book, and baricade the door, while Enzo tries to use cutters on a chain, but glitch is broken. The user cut through the wall, and they electrocute him, causing some of his ammo to explode. Enzo draws his fire (Dancing like Micheal Jackson, doing all the steps, including what some call "The move" heh heh! E-mail me!) until Dot can whip his gun away. (A deerhead on the wall makes a humourous remark in a Scottish accent, "It's only funny, until someone loses an eye!") The user gets his chainsaw tangled up in piano wire, so he tosses it away. The user trips over the badly injured Frisket, and get his head jammed into a chair. Frisket gets some tender care! Enzo spooks him down a trap door, and he dies. (Not before popping up and screaming "I'm dead before dawn!" a few times!) They return to the Principle office, where Enzo is clobbered by Andraia. Phong and Mouse have managed to get the sheild back up, and Frisket is busy tormenting medical binomes. Dot says that Enzo is to train before he goes out to do Bob-esque things, and Enzo promises to get Bob back! Andraia and mouse have one last surprise, Cecil, who was recovered from the rubble of the diner. Dot gives his a hug, despite Cecils protests, "Not in front of the customers!". They all share a good laugh, as Cecil straightens his bow-tie.


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