Between a Raccoon and a Hard Place


By Chris Hyduk

First Aired: August 27th, 1997

Game: Rocky The Rabid Raccoon

Click here to hear this episodes intro!

Memorable Quote: "Be Vewy, vewy quite! I'm hunting Waccoon!" (As said by Enzo in his Elmer Fudd getup!)

Red Uniform! AAAAAAHHHH!!! The episode opens with a game in progress, Enzo and Dot were unable to get there in time, due to Megabytes forces blocking their path. The binomes lose the game, and the system is nullified. Mike the T.V. returns for a news story, broadcasting live from the scene, but he is cut short by Hack and Slash, who "Volentarily" censor Mike. Megabytes forces quickly sweep in to take control of the nullified area, the inhabitants are not willing to give up their PIDs, so megabyte deletes a binome to show them that he is serious. (NOTE: The binome that is deleted is wearing a Star trek uniform, a RED Star Trek uniform, you know what that means! Megabyte also says that "Resistance is Futile", a reference to The Borg, a villain from Star Trek!)

Guardian, Schmardian! Megabyte's lacky, Cyrus, is busy putting up slanderous posters that are meant to turn the citizens of Mainframe against Enzo, these posters have a picture of Enzo, with his eyes crossed, and "Guardian Shmardian" written on them. Phong says that they must improve Enzo's image, and turn him into a hero, by sending him into a game...alone. Dot dosen't like this idea, but Mouse comes up with a way for her and Andraia to enter the game with him. Mouse uses Enzo's icon to transform Andraia's icon and her own into ones that will reboot properly in a game, but they are untested, and are not 100% guarenteed.

Mouse works her Hacking SkillsThe Icons merge!
Megabyte orders his fleet to stop anyone attempting to enter any future games, and turns his attention elsewhere. Almost on cue, a game drops down a few moments later, and the fleets moves out. The fleets moves to block Enzo and Dot, but are surprised when they see that it is just two binomes with cardboard cutouts! Suddenly, the sky is filled with Dot and Enzos, and the ABCs aren't fast enough to block them all, Enzo, Mouse, and Andraia manage to get by them undetected. Just then, Andraia's zipboard loses power, and when Mouse come to get her, Andraia grabs Mouse's board, and takes off for the game. She yells an apology as she flys into the cube.

Hex's New Look! Inside the game, they are in a very 2-Dimensional desert of some kind, with a long highway going off into the distance. Andraia explains that there was no use risking both her and Mouse with the new icons, and that she would be able to survive if she left with the game. They are joined by a grisly old prospecter binome, who doesn't fully trust Enzo as a guardian.

Back outside, Megabyte is checking up on his sister. They bring hex up out of the regeneration chamber that she was in, and we (the ever loving audience) get our first look at the new Hexadecimal. She now has long boots, and a very strange new outfit. She also has a collar, and a head peice, which makes her resemble a jester! She looks around, and Megabyte explains that they had to rebuild her. She screams, and then asks who make her look like this, when the Dr. Binome points to his igor-styled assistant, she says that she likes it! She says that she'll be on her way, but as she starts to leave, Megabyte pushes a button on his arm, and Hex lurches over. Megabyte gloats, now he has all of his sister's power at his command...

There he is! Rocky The Rabid Raccoon! In the game, the prospecter asks Enzo what his toy is, and Andraia tells him that it's a guardian keytool. Enzo tries to find out what game it is, and is alerted to a huge flashing title screen behind him, with fireworks and noise! "Rocky The Rabid Raccoon". They decide to reboot. Andraia is, as she puts it, "A biker babe", and she laughs at what Enzo becomes, and with good reason, because he has turned into Elmer Fudd!

At that moment, the user arrives. He's a crazy looking raccoon with swilring eyes, and a drawling mouth, he spots Andraia, and promptly, in cartoon fashion, begins to smother her with drooling smooches! Enzo tells him to get away from her, and the raccoon takes off, really fast, so fast if fact that the road is lifted up behind him! They don't know how to catch up to him, so Enzo fires a shot from his double barrelled rifle. This shot starts off a chain of events that eventually leads to the detonation of a box of fireworks, and the frying of a vulture, which lands on the raccoons head, and he is nailed by a speeding train! (It could only happen in a cartoon!)
One life down, two to go!
Heh heh, Enzo Fudd! The next life allows the raccoon to get to the next level, by launching a rocket from a missile silo. The misslie goes up, then spins around and heads straight back towards the earth. Enzo warns them that they will have to go over the edge, and down to the next level. The prospecter doesn't want to go, and decides to stay and take his chances with the missile. Andraia puts him out with her spines, and they drag him down.
They are greeted by a pair of binomes, one of which is the one from Fargo who was interviewed in "To Mend and Defend" They see the user jumps into a celler, a decide to get the extra life coin before he can. They manage it, and lock him in a sewer with a bunch of ghost binomes, who start pounding the stuffing out of him.

Rocky Get's an eyefull...of something! The next level is a subway, and the user is stumbling around looking for energy, he tries to get some out of a machine marked "Java", but is stopped by a rasta-binome with a machete, who threatens to make a raccoon hat. He tries to get something from a machine marked "Mashed Potatoes", but is stopped by a binome with a trenchcoat, he opens it, and *Something* thumps out. The user goes bugeyed and takes off at top speed. (NOTE: The flasher binome is standing in front of a machine marked "Cup O' Pork")
The user is diverted into an alley where he is stuck in some tar, and is smushed by a steamroller. They leave the game, and Enzo is happy, then he realizes that Andraia isn't with them. He turns around, and there she is! They greet each other happily, but they are cut short by Megabytes forces surrounding them. They speed away though, when a fleet of CPU cars are spotted, but once again, they're only cutouts, Megabytes cronies were fooled by the same trick, Twice! They all share a good laugh, Enzo has proven himself as a guardian, and has earned the trust of the citizens!


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