Return of the Crimson Binome


By Chris Hyduk

First Aired: October 15th, 1997


Click here to hear this episodes intro!

This episode opens slightly before the end of "The Episode with No Name". We are re-introduced to the famous Software pirate, Captain Gavin Capacitor, "The Crimson Binome". He and his loyal sidekick, Mr. Christopher are trying to avoid being caught by the CPUs, who are patrolling the city, offering a large reward for Capacitor. They duck behind a barrell when a CPU flys by (His theme music stops when he goes behind the barrell) and when they re-emerge, he tells Mr. C. that they can hide in the cantina, and blend into the crowd of lowlifes. When they walk in, Matrix turns to him, and Capacitor thinks him to be another bounty hunter. He tells them that they won't capture him, and turns and takes off down the street.

Meanwhile, in the large prison that looms above the town, the guards are hauling a new prisoner into his cell. He's a shiny surfer dude with a surfboard (Silver Surfer) He speaks with an Austrailian accent, which is just what the scene was lacking. He is tossed into a cell, and we can see some binomes talking in the adjacent cell. They say that it isn't the captain, and that he must still be out there.
Captain Capacitor runs down the street, and in a groovy fast-paced chase, Frisket, Matrix, and Andraia chase them through the city. Cornered in an alley with a dead end, the Captain turns and says he will run no more. Frisket rounds the corner and leaps at him, but Capacitor pulls out his sword and freezes frisket's file. Upon looking at the frozen dog, he recognizes his teeth. Matrix rounds the corner, and reveals to Capacitor that he is Enzo, Dot's brother. Capacitor doesn't fully believe him, until he sees Frisket obey him, and he knows that it is Enzo.

Capacitor tells Matrix that his crew was captured and put into the prison when he tried to open lawful trading with other systems. He says that there is no way to free them, but Andraia tells him that they have something that can help now, something that can't be stopped. Capacitor doesn't know what this is, until Matrix says, "Me!".

A group of binome guards survey the various parts of the prison via security cameras. (Duke Nukem Style, and in one of the cells, is FEATHERS MCGRAW!! The penguin from "The Wrong Trousers", and has made many cameos on past episodes) Andraia walks in, and very innocently tells the guards that she has lost her dog,

and continues to distract the guards using her feminine wiles until Frisket leaps in, and knocks the head off one of the guards, and renders the others, unconsious.

Outside, Matrix and Capicitor come to a wall, and Matrix proceeds to blow it out of the way. They leave Mr. Christopher outside, and go in to find Capacitor's crew. They get inside and find a locked door. Matrix once again displays his talents at using a gun, and blasts the panel, causing the door to open enough for him to get a grip and force it open. He gets it open, and they walk in to find the crew locked in cells, Matrix blasts the door, and it frees the crew. (Princess Bula, the huge binome, walks past Matrix and gives him a look, "Is she really a princess?" "No, You want to tell her otherwise?")
As they are leaving, the surfer wakes up, and asks if Matrix can free him too. Matrix says no, "You're no use to me!". But Capacitor talks him into letting him go, saying that Dot would not approve of the way he's acting. The surfer, now free, walks over to a cabinet, and asks for one more shot from Matrix. Matrix turns and points his gun directly at him. He blasts open the cabinet, and says the next one is his head. The surfer takes his large, silver surfboard and leaves, saying that he's headed for the Edge of Beyond, noone will find him there.

Matrix and the crew head off to the captain's ship, and they free it from it's large green, glowing chains. They get aboard, only to find out that two large ships are approaching, they resemble aircraft carriers. Capacitor orders his guns to be ready, but Matrix tells them to wait for Andraia.

During all this, Andraia has been running from the CPUs, running down the many alleys of the street, causing a few of the CPUs to crash. But her luck runs out, and she ends up cornered in an alley. The CPUs tell her to surrender, or be deleted. Andraia chooses to fight, and she draws her trident. Up above, the surfer is also avoiding the CPUs, he surfs through the city, easily avoiding them. He looks down, and sees Andraia in trouble, and decides to help her. He steps off of his board, and freefalls, while his board, obviously with a life of it's own, turns and heads down too. The surfer lands as the surfboard cuts the ends off of the CPU's guns. He jumps on the board and carries Andraia to safety. He says that his name is Ray, Ray Tracer. (Which explains why he is so shiny)

When Andraia and Ray show up at the boat, Matrix shows more hostility towards Ray. But he doesn't have time to get mad, because they are under attack. They begin firing on the battleships, and the incoming CPUs strifing them from above. Ray and Andraia blast the CPUs, back to back, which fuels Matrix's feeling negative towards Ray. They manage to hold the other ships off long enough to engage their sails, and take off into the net gateway. Capacitor tells his crew to set a course to the edge of beyond. They seem to be going along fine, until they come to an abrupt halt.

They didn't make it out of the system, and are floating in some sort of spaceway, full of primitive shapes, and balls resembling portals. They learn that the ships portal generator was damaged, and they have no way to get out of the system, or to the web. That's when Ray brings up something, quite offhandedly. He says that he has done some of his best surfing in the web. He can create a portal to the web, apparently just one of his many talents. Andraia says to Matrix that it's good that he's there, and he can help. Matrix turns away, but turns back when he hears Ray say that he'd do anything for a pretty lady. Matrix's eye turns red, and we get a nice close shot of it. That's all 'til next week folks!


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