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System Crash


v3.4.3


By Chris Hyduk

First Aired: January 17th, 1998


Game:None! (But the game characters came back from Malicious Corpses, A Dungeon Deep, Rocky the Rabid Raccoon, Wacky Races, Mortal Kombat, Undersea Adventure, The Funhouse, etc...etc...)


Click here to hear this episodes intro!



Our happy binome friends, live in complete bliss. Also in complete ignorance of the danger around them. They entertain themselves on the docks of Mainframe, doing various dances and such to keep from going insane. Of course, when the dock begins collapsing and they are falling into the energy sea, even the most daft binome can tell when to run away.

The KISS binomes: Klobbered

The Sailor moon binomes: Smashed (Yesssssss!!) :)

Al's rollerblading server: Served up, I'm afraid

Special Agent Fax Modem: Fatally Mashed

The Elvis binome: He's left the building

Indiana Nome: 8 Balls, Why does it always have to be 8 Balls?

And the Principle Office: falling to pieces.

Our heroes are thinking of what to do. Mouse says that people are dying, and Matrix says that they need a plan. Dot agrees, and she already has one. They begin the evacuation of the city, rounding up binomes. Dot wants everyone to know that they can find shelter in the Principle Office, and Andraia tells her that Mouse and Ray are spreading the word and rounding up the remaining binomes. Dot wonders if they can trust the surfer, and Matrix and Andraia vouch for him, although Mouse is doing some investigating of her own.

Mouse and Ray fly through the city, and Mouse seems quite interested in Ray. They seem to have a lot in common, as they discover as they rescue two green-haired binomes.
Back at the P.O., Hack and Slash have found Phong's body in the trash, and present it to Phong's head. Phong tells them that the sectors of the city must be powered down, before they tear themselves apart. Then the shutdown will be averted, and only the P.O. will remain online. Dot asks how they will accomplish this as the Core control chamber was destroyed in the war. Phong says that it must be done manually, from within the core itself. Dot says that noone can survive in the core, and Bob says he thinks he can. Dot says no, but realizes that it is the only way, and finally agrees.

Lines of binomes await entry to the P.O., Matrix breaks up a scuffle, and Mouse and Ray show up with two more survivors. A familiar 'nome is in the line, and calls out "C'mon Al! You don't want to be the last one in!", which is replied to by someone in the back, "What?".
Andraia tells Matrix that there's a holdout at the junkyard, and Matrix isn't surprised. He tries to convince Old Man Pierson that he has to leave, and even when Pierson recognizes Enzo, he won't leave. Not, at least, until he is rendered unconscious by Andraia's spines. She tells Matrix that she will see him soon.
Matrix asks what's next, and suddenly three tears open up. Mouse tells him they're about to find out, as a large, hulking figure emerges from the portal. The figure of the user, the same user who injured Enzo's eye so long ago. It looks straight at Matrix.

Phong's head is reattached, and he observes Bob entering the core. They start getting reports of tears opening all over the city. Bob is concerned, but Dot tells him she has it covered. Dot is concerned, but Bob tells her "It's not like we won't see each other again". Dot agrees, and Bob enters the core. Dot turns her attention to the tears, and suddenly one opens right there. A figure emerges, one immediately recognized as the user. Phong says, "Oh Dear!".

The users are coming through in droves; Santa, A Knight, The Clown, and the creature who hurt Matrix. Mouse tells them that they're undeleted RAM, released by the instabilities in the system. They each choose one, and the arse kinking begins!

Ray VS. Santa: The 'Claus: Closed!

Mouse VS. The Clown and the Knight: Clown and Knight: considerably pummeled!

Matrix VS. Zaytan: Not this time!

It's user bashing, Mainframe style! And Everybody's invited! Matrix blasts the Zaytan user square in the head, he's gone. He then wonders about Andraia. Andraia has a new bike! Megabyte's Mega-Bike! She is headed back to the P.O. when she encounters one of the users. This user is the space ship from "The Tearing" (Sniff, The very first User, that brings back memories!) Andraia makes short work out of the ship, and continues on her way. She is then attacked by the airplane/dinosaur hybrid from "When Games Collide", she is saved by Captain Capacitor and his band, now in a CPU car.

Across town, The Doktor binome, and his Igor-esque sidekick are fleeing the system. They know that if they get caught, they'll be in a lot of trouble. As they enter an alley, a menacing shadow appears. The shadow of Hexadecimal, holding a rolling Pin (?) approaches them, asking them if they're going somewhere. Her menacing laughter drifts into the air.



Bob is in the core, but he can't get through to Dot to let her know. This might be because Dot is currently being strangled by Ash, the guy from "Malicious Corpses". She manages to get free with help from Hack and Slash. The vision impaired binome is knocked over by the prisoner user from "Starship Alcatraz". Phong leaps on him, and pulls him to the ground.
Hack and Slash and Dot surround Ash, but he simply looks around, says "Groovy" and pulls out his shotgun.

Mouse is struggling with Penelope Pitstop, who has her in a headlock. At the same time, she is fending off the cowboy user from "High Code". Ray isn't having any trouble, stomping on the tine knights and dinosaurs running around, and neither is Matrix, who easily takes out two Carrot warriors from "Wizards, Warriors, and a Word from our Sponser". Matrix doesn't even bother when a portal open, and flings out a shark onto the ground. He simply watches it flouder around.

Inside the core, Bob realizes that he is cut off, and he is on his own, But a voice behind him says otherwise. Bob spins around...Megabyte.

Ray takes out another user, and Matrix knocks over the dinosaur/tank hybrid. He is saved from another knight by Andraia on her bike. Several binomes try to help Old Man Pierson off of the bike, trying to avoid dropping him. They drop him.
Bob figures out that Megabyte is only a simulation, placed there to try and divert anyone from fixing the system. Bob begins working.

Hack and Slash have been shot, and Ash has turned towards Dot. He is about to fire at her when Frisket leaps at him. "It's Payback time" Says Dot, as Frisket finishes him off. Matrix shows up, just as Princess Bula snaps the neck of the last user. They remember Bob, and try to contact him. To no avail.
Bob watches as Sector 31 goes kaput. As Megabyte mocks him, he works feverishly to fix more systems.
Outside, they are sure that Bob is okay, because sectors are being shutdown.
Megabyte continues to heckle Bob, who is not letting the taunting distract him from saving the system

Hack and Slash say their final goodbyes. And Slash reminds Hack that he is a good friend, even when he ratted him out to Megabyte. Hack doesn't know why he can't just leave that alone, and they decide to just shut up.

"Heeeeeeyyy, is there room in this crowded show for a cameo by everyone's favorite talking television?"

"NO!"


Mike is dejected.
Bob is now surrounded by Megabytes. Bob doesn't believe in the No-Win situation, and continues to work.
Matrix starts to go down to the core, and Andraia goes with him.
Bob starts using his powers to fix the sectors. Megabyte says "No!", but Bob just says, "Try and Stop me!". The energy sea begins closing in on the system, and Bob races the clock to get everything shut down in time. The sea is only a little bit away from the P.O., But he manages to get the last system shut down. exhausted, he collapses.

The warning lights go off, they all look around. Bob is carried in by Matrix and Andraia. He asks Dot, "System...Out of Danger?" (Said by Spock in Star Trek II") Dot asks if he is okay, and they close in, about to kiss.

"Here, let me help you" says Dot

"No, really, let me.." Bob replies, getting closer, their lips about to touch

"No Way! Let Me!!" exclaims Rocky, as he gives her a big Smackeroo, "The girl's tasty, but where's all the food?". Rocky takes off.


Dot is in shock, and Matrix says that they must have missed a user. Andraia goes off to find him. Bob asks Phong how they're doing, and Phong turns to them.

"News is not good, my son." he says.
"What do you mean?" asks Bob.
"We have survived Megabyte's bane, but Mainframe is still doomed.", Phong replies, and our heroes look on worriedly.

THE END


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